Divorce Without War! 
“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”
~ Ambrose Bierce
In the high-stakes world of family conflict, sometimes divorce is the best solution. If this is your direction, you will receive empathic support and attention to the needs of yourself, your partner, and your children that allows for the development of healthy relationships during and after the separation process.
My training in the process of Collaborative Family Law (CFL) (2008) allows me to support people seeking to use the CFL process for divorce and to gain more understanding about the needs of divorcing couples and their children. Like CFL, I see Divorce as a problem to solve, not a war to fight.
Take care of your children
The very process of CFL models effective communication and problem solving for parents. Children's needs are valued and supported.
How will your new relationship look after the divorce?
How will it support your needs?
How will you get along with your partner so that your children's needs can be met as they grow?
You can create a manageable and flexible parenting plan to support your family through uncertainty.
You can learn ways to communicate your needs, values, and interests that support both of you, protects the integrity of the family, and takes care of your children throughout the years following the divorce.
Let's dispel the myth that families are 'broken' if they live apart. With courage and determination, you can co-create a secure post-divorce family that values respectful communication, cooperation, and mutual understanding.
Imagine feeling...
Empowered, confident, informed, honoured, and satisfied.
You are in control of the proceedings.
By being fully heard and understood, my coaching and training can support your needs to make the process of divorce...
- Efficient: release limiting beliefs; focus on interests and a satisfying resolution
- Empowering: co-create a secure post-divorce family environment
- Effective: develop respectful communication and confident co-parenting strategies
- Economical: get to the heart of the matter with deep empathy and non-judgmental understanding
- Essentially the beginning of creating a new life for you: Where are you going from here?
I will not be involved in therapy. I can help you make sense of your emotions and identify your needs while going through the difficult task of separating from an intimate relationship.
Take advantage of coaching early and often to help you through the low points of negotiation.
You will be asked to sign a coaching agreement in which you agree that in the event of future litigation, I will not be called upon to testify in that litigation as your coach.
Collaborative Family Law (CFL)
CFL is a safe, respectful, and dignified process of divorce. Four way settlement meetings allow each party to explore their issues and define them in their own voice. Emotional tactics, threats, or abusive communications are identified, discussed, and reduced so that the lawyers and the separated spouses efficiently focus their time and effort solely on settlement rather than preparing and posturing themselves for court.
This definition of CFL comes from http://www.victoriasmith.ca/services.html
Collaborative Family Law/Practice
Each spouse retains a Collaborative Lawyer who has been trained in the collaborative process,
effective communication and principled negotiation skills. The clients and the lawyers sign a
Participation Agreement in which all commit to negotiate in good faith, treat each other with
respect, exchange all important information, put the children first, and look for solutions acceptable
to both parties. The contract provides that these lawyers are retained solely to facilitate settlement
and will not go to court. Negotiations take place in a series of 4 party settlement meetings in which
the lawyers provide legal advice and support and maintain a safe, balanced negotiation environment.
When needed other professionals, such as Parenting Coaches and Financial Specialists, are retained
to provide input and assistance. The collaborative process provides a holistic approach to resolving all of the legal,
financial and emotional issues that come with separation and divorce, in a principled way, following established protocols
without the threat of court.
To find out more about CFL, please visit:
(in Ontario) http://www.oclf.ca/
(International) http://collaborativepractice.com/
http://www.collaborativelaw-waterloo.com/index.asp The Collaborative Family Law Association of Waterloo-Wellington
http://www.collaborative-law.ca/index.htm The Collaborative Law Network, an Ottawa-based incorporated group of family law lawyers offers Collaborative Family Law services to separating and divorcing spouses.